Why so Shy?

Arlene is a tall, lean, strong, dazzling, 50-something year old woman. She's warm of heart and spirit, relentless about her personal fitness and another of my favorite peeps. Who am I kidding? I don't have favorites, I adore all my peeps.

When Arlene approached me many months ago about working with her as her personal trainer, I was both honored and excited. Here's a woman who's already highly motivated, committed to herself and her well-being, she's ready to turn it up a notch and explore something more on the fitness front. Rapture, my ideal client. It was at our first session when she secretly (sorry Arlene I've outed you) admitted the weight training floor of the gym terrified her. She told me how intimidated she felt just upon entering the area. So much, she visioned a marquee sign greeting her upon arrival, "You don't belong here." That's pretty terrifying. My immediate job was to pull the plug on the marquee and hold her hand a bit. Arlene isn't alone.

Tanya is an adorable 30 year old. I've just recently met her and already know she's fanatical about working out. Exercise is her therapy and stress-reducer. She has beautifully sculpted arms & shoulders (a portion she attributes to her DNA) and has a propensity to overtrain on the cardio. She's injured herself a few times because her weight training is limited and inconsistent, so she's reached out for my help. Like Arlene, the weight training floor gives Tanya that deer in headlights feeling. She's overwhelmed, unsure where to begin and how to progress. Tanya's in good hands.

So what is that makes us so apprehensive about the hardware in the weight room? Five words.

1st word - steel. It's big, heavy, clumsy to look at, scary to figure out.

2nd word - pictures. Most weight training machines offer an illustration of use. The disillusion here is that the illustrations are of men using the machine - not women. Last time I checked, women weren't built the same as men.

Which leads us to the 3rd word - unisex. User beware, unisex isn't a guarantee. Not all weight machines are created as an equal opportunity use. This is where many people get frustrated and give up. Insisting that they should be able to use the equipment. Not necessarily so. Many machines are masked as unisex use but are designed for men: wider handle grips, broad back cushions, higher seat positioning, limited adjustment capability. Consideration for the smaller frame of a woman's shape is the after thought in design. Take Tanya for example, she's 5'1", and may have difficulty positioning seated machines so her feet are properly placed or her back is supported. In those instances, Tanya will move on. It's not the machine for her.

Our 4th word - variety. Options = decisions. Decisions = knowledge. Plate loaded, multi-station, assisted, single station, cable motion. Is your head spinning yet? Let's review to help you make selections that feel right for you.

• Assisted - typical weight training machines provide some kind of assisstance, weather it's something to sit on, lean against, or grip - that's where/how you're assisted. The assistance provides support for easier use or help to facilitate proper body alignment (assuming the machine has been set for your body correctly).

• Plate loaded (right) - means you physically add the weight plate(s) you want to use, this is the assisted machine version of free weights.
  

• Single station - the standard assisted weight machine that focuses on a single muscle or group of muscles.

• Multi-station or Cable motion (right) - think of it as one-stop shopping. Multi-purpose, multi-muscle group, sometimes multiple machines attached together making one machine. These functional trainers provide less assistance, a broader range of motion, more challenge and limitless variety. You're never bored.

The 5th word that has us so shy about the weight room is - people. Somehow, we've got it in our head that all the other people on the floor are watching us, judging us, expecting us to have this whole machine thing down. Nah, they're just as clueless as we are. And if they're even watching us at all, they're probably hoping to get some inspired tips for themselves to overcome their own shyness.

I see people in the weight room who regularly work with a trainer. Yet, the minute they're left to their own devices, to play unsupervised, they become a hazard to themselves in the form of posture, function and awareness. Makes me shutter.

As for Tanya, she's just getting started and excited. I know she'll do great.

And Arlene, all I can say is WOW. Shy no more. It's so wonderful to greet her at our session and see she's playing on the cable motion machine, confident and autonomous. I'm happy to say the marquee has been permanently disconnected.

Peace, Fluiditity, Stress and a Cold

Ah weddings - - no matter how intimate or elaborate there's always a little somethin' somethin' that tosses you off kilter and fires up the anxiety adrenaline. Like today. For Boomer and I, our somethin' somethin' has mostly been around his absence. He's been traveling alot these last few months. This week alone, he's gone Tue - Fri with a repeat performance scheduled for next week. Our wedding is next Saturday. We've found fluidity in our nuptial planning during this time. I've taken lead on most of the info gathering, planning, etc. Then when Boomer's home, I bring him up to speed and pull him in for opinions and decision making.

Overall, it's gone very well, though we miss each other. What else can we do? Embrace the situation and work within it. Precisely what we've done. When the anxieties flair up, we rally and return to a place of peace quickly. For example, it was Mike to the rescue when he stepped in two weeks ago as I had a minor melt down over our goofy menu. He laid it all out, recognizing I was having an anxiety attack over one appetizer choice - - Beef Wellington or Sesame Chicken. How silly. But there I was feeling overwhelmed, melting, melting, melting, and it was his intervening support that put me right back to a peaceful place. Ah. And to top it off, our awesome caterer added both items to our menu for us. Excellent.

Here's today somethin' somethin'. We've been juggling when to get our marriage license because Boomer's been gone so much. The intent was to do it on Monday (two days ago), but he got called into his office, so we couldn't. Our other option is next Monday. This afternoon I get an email from Boomer gently reminding me that it's Columbus Day, the county offices will be closed. He's out of town again next week Tue - Thurs. That only leaves us with next Friday, the day before our wedding. Hello? We're running out of time here.

An exasperating, "GRRRRR," was my opening response to his note. My head exploded and the anxiety rush ripped through me like a tornado. Did I mention I've had cold all week? I'm not feeling 100%, I'm cranky, and have fallen behind on both personal and business stuff? I open my calendar for Friday and see we have a 2-hour window between 10-12 where we can get our license. State law requires us to have of our license a minimum of 24 hours. Add to that, I scheduled the caterers to deliver goods on Friday between 3-5; I wanted Boomer to be the receiver, a little payback favor. No such luck. He's making an airport pick-up run at 4 pm. I won't be home, BFF Barbara and I are having our hands and toes pampered. I'm thinking to myself, "So who's gonna do this?" Grrrrrr. I hate not feeling well and can't wait for my weekly yoga stretch class that always nourishes my spirit (and my body).

I take a deep, time-out breath and grab a fresh cup of tea. As I check-in with our ring designer, it pops into my head to call the caterer to see if I can reschedule their delivery. No problemo - Thursday afternoon - perfection. I shoot Boomer an email that all is well, to which he replies,
"You are the best. Calm down, watch The Ameican President tonight (a favorite movie of ours) and relax. Wish I was there to hold you, believe me."

Ah weddings - - long distance fluidity, restored peace, though I still have a cold. Jammy time.

I'm Bored...

...not because our wedding is in 11 days. To the contrary, our excitement is building.

I'm bored with my personal workout sessions.

My cardio conditioning in particular. I'm not one for the stationary equipment: treadmill, elliptical, bike and the like. B-O-R-I-N-G! I've always gotten and enjoyed my best cardio workout from a group class. The comradeship that develops before, during and after a healthy dose of assembled perspiration and pulsing hearts is invigorating. Lately it just ain't happening. I'm not bashing instructors, facilities, formats, or fellow participants. I won't go there. Though I will say that I am seeing a trend of weakened skill and lackluster program from the pro in the front of the room. But that's not why I'm bored. Not exclusively anyway.

It's my personality. I learned what my fitness personality was thanks to a young woman I met at a Step Up event who's mother wrote the book about it: The 8 colors of Fitness.

Author Suzanne Brue investigated and researched the connection between personality and physical activity to understand our approach, motivation, preferred environment and interaction with others as it relates to exercise.

She developed a system inspired by the Myers-Briggs personality type formula to help us understand and create the ideal fitness program we'll stick with.

Take the quiz and learn for yourself how well suited your current routine is for you. Then, let me hear how you fared. Did you agree? Disagree? Do you understand better why you, like me, may too be bored or willing to throw in the towel? What changes, if any, will you be making? Ask me questions too to get support for your success.

I'm recommending all my clients take the quiz prior to our next session together. It will be valuable for both of us. I'll be able to provide a more enlightened level of service that will keep them coming back. In turn, they'll continue to be self-motivated because they'll have a better understanding of what makes them tick in the gym (or not in the gym, as the case might be).

I was thrilled to have the opportunity to talk with Suzanne Brue personally and grateful to receive a copy of her book. I love it and use it as a professional reference regularly. She is speaking next week in Chicago and I'm looking forward to meeting her in person

As for my fitness personality - - I'm a proud Silver Harmony. This makes perfect sense, a direct match and explains why I'm bored with my cardio workout. I'm ready for a change, my gym isn't offering it to the level or convenience I desire. Pure silver. And who doesn't love a little bling?

**SPECIAL SHOUT OUT**
To all my clients running in the Chicago Marathon this weekend. I wish you a great run, fab weather and abundant accolades on your accomplishment. I'm proud of you all. Cheers and Have fun!

Oops, I Did It Again

We've been detoxing for a few days now, though not entirely in the way you might instinctively think. When I Googled "detox" it was no surprise over 90% of the hits had to do with a colon cleanse, wacky quick fix diet, or the 2002 Dr. Dre album. Not completely where I was going...

I am coincidentally, in the midst of a 7-day body toxin cleanse. Not that starvation stuff; been there, done that. That's not good for anyone. Food is a must. This cleanse simply incorporates a water-based cocktail of 10 different botanicals along with a healthful, mindful diet to help purge my body of metabolic waste. This was an intentional, planned activity. A healthy choice for my physical wellness where in the end I will feel fresh and renewed.

But what I'm really talking about is a detox of our spirit and environment when it's been polluted by the toxic opinions, attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs of outside sources. Toxins that are delivered with malice by someone other than ourselves. Sources which we may have invited but do not welcome or agree with. Our home was invaded with just this kind of acute toxicity that left us anything but fresh and renewed. We were stunned, stupefied, angry and sad. It's taken several days to move beyond it. I won't pay homage to the details and give the toxic legs momentum. Squash the bug.
I apologize and am accountable. You see, I opened the window. Not my first time. This toxic being swarmed into our home because I opened the window. Was I naive? Optimistic? Well-intended? Yes. I goofed. And as a result, we were bit by a wasp. Oops, I did it again. And for that I am sorry. My window opening misstep also affected two other households. Yikes! That's annoying. I am equally sorry about that and grateful to be vindicated.

Living a life of harmony and balance requires us to take inventory of our actions and be accountable for them. In this example, I opened a window that didn't have a screen. The wasp swarm flew in. I can't blame the swarm for flying in and biting us. That's what wasps do. I do take responsibility for not having been better prepared or making another choice. Like putting a screen on my window that says, "please leave your venomous bite outside." Or ideally, leave the darn window closed. That way, wasps stay out and go away. Which is precisely what I'm doing from now on.

I also forgive. Forgive myself; my planned intention of doing a good thing that didn't have a good ending. Forgive the wasp; it doesn't know how to do or be anything different. Someday maybe it will.

It's been a wonderful learning lesson. When we stretch and expose ourselves, we are bound to encounter people who disagree or dislike what we have to say or are about, and unfortunately respond unrealistically and with malice. Bummer. I'm learning how to detox from those situations swiftly, with ease and grace.

Ah, fresh and renewed, inside and out. Feels good.

No More UNIBOOB: The Girls Deserve Better

All 3 of you.

We all know how passionate I am about the importance of good footwear for your personal fitness endeavors. Well ladies, that same passion holds true for protecting your two closest assets and that's what we covering (no pun intended...yeah it was) today.

A great, well-fitting sport bra provides lots of magic for your physical well-being and workout effectiveness. Beginning with a big love hug to hold the girly assests safely in place. The girls don't belong wiggling and jiggling all over when your focused on safely enhancing other parts of your body during a workout. Some things are meant to be still. Let the girls be still and stand proud.

A little fun history. The first sport bra was created in 1977. Two co-eds, Hinda Miller & Lisa Landhal, went to their college bookstore, bought two jock straps, tore them apart and sewed them together. It was the birth of Jogbra.

22 years later, Brandi Chastain changed history when the world got to see her sport bra. The sport bra was let out of the closet, cementing a workout fashion trend. Trouble was, the early compression-style Jogbra & Brandi's infamous Nike were designed to support small breasted women.

Sports bras have come along way since their conception out of a couple of jock straps (love the irony). Still, many women continue to believe the early shelf-bra design or their everyday wear will deliver. Not so. Women with serious girls need serious support. Without proper support, the girls get tossed around like a yo-yo which can lead to permanent sagging, shoulder and back pain. Gravity, posture, life-cycle changes and aging contribute to that already - - we don't need to exacerbate the process by not treating our girls to the support they deserve.

So, what's a woman to do for her girls? Know these 4-F facts:

1. FUNCTION - The sport bra is intended to control breast motion without causing discomfort or breathing difficulty. To test your current inventory, do the jumping jack test facing a mirror. Complete 6-8 jumping jacks, the entire upper body should move in unison. No bungy boob action. When you stop, so should the girls.
2. FORM - Sport bras come in two primary classifications. Compression and Encapsulation. Compression bras have little to no structure. Unless your bustline matches that of a 12-yr old boy, it's just not the way to go. Compressing the breast tissue isn't healthy; you actually loose firmness; constrict the breast too deeply into the chest will restrict mobility, limit breath capacity, cause chaffing, and irritating the shoulders and back. Not-so-fun stuff. Conversely, if not snug enough, you're back to bungy boob, the girls are mobile - defeating the purpose. Encapsulation bras have molded cups and some are well-seamed so each girl has her own space. This is ideal for most women. There's no crowding, and further eases the shoulders and back. Many encapsulation bras now have a subtle compression element that provides excellent support for moderate to heavy impact activity.
   
3. FIT - 75-80% of women wear the wrong size bra. I'll bet that number is higher for sport bras. Lots of droopy boobs out there. The average woman will experience a bra size change 6 times during her lifetime. I know it's that whole cycle of life thing again. These changes typically range 1-2 sizes in band, cup or both, depending on the individual and the situation. Like your everyday wear, 90% of the support from your sport bra must come from the band that wraps around the torso. Only 10% of the support comes from the strap. Straps of a good sport bra are slightly wider than our everyday bra. The cup of your sport bra should fit the entire breast - no over hang in front or on the side, that means the cup size is too small. Go up another letter and try again. If the straps dig into your shoulder - you need tighter support around the torso. It should be snug around the body comfortable on the top of the shoulder. Expect a brand new bra to feel slightly uncomfortable, maybe even a little too snug. Good quality product conforms to your shape and after it's first wearing - fabulous. Some women complain that their bra is too tight simply because they've been wearing the wrong size or a worn out bra for so long they really don't know what the proper fit feels like. Again, the jumping jack test is great. Like your everday bra, your sport bra's job is to lift, separate and support; plus it holds you in place for minimal movement. For your sport bra to retain it's shape and fit as long as possible, treat it and wear it just as you would your everyday wear. Don't wear it two times in row. Wash it with fine washables, cold water, gentle fabric, soap and line dry.
   
4. FIND - What you need. For fittings and purchases, specialty boutiques are actually better than the upscale department stores. Staffs are consistently highly knowledgeable and well-trained. Most of us know of bra guru Susan Nethero's Intimacy Boutique. She's been all over (though in my opinion she's not talking up the importance of good, well-fit sport bra enough) with boutiques across the country that provide complimentary bra sizing and stock over 75 different sizes (Egads!). Find the bra that matches your bustline and workout activity first. Personal style preference is secondary. So if you're committed to racer-back (like me) sport bras, be accepting that styles change and it just may not be available, right now. Form & fit come first - - fashion is second. Have more than one sport bra in rotation. Buy one at the boutique after your fitting, then shop online for a couple more of the same style/model, perhaps at a lower cost. Please, please, please, find a sport bra in any color other than white. Who's idea was this? White bras don't stay white, the color turns very fast. Take a look at what becomes of white t-shirts. Ew.
   

Think of it like this, compression bra = uniboob. Who really wants an Abe Froman sausage stuffed on their chest? Not me for one. Treat your girls right. Encapsulate them.

Be well, fit, & fabulous.

Here Comes the Bride, the Reunion, and Thousands of Crunches

A few months back I was interviewed for a feature article about cost effective ways of getting into shape for summer. Proud to have been interviewed for the piece, I energetically and enthusiastically answered the questions with one strong underlying philosophy. The premise of getting into shape for summer is an aspect of a chronic condition I call Event-based Fitness (EbF). A fast-hitting, ramp-up, short-term, ego-based approach many of us take on in order to get in shape, lose weight, or both. It's also precisely why we don't experience the lasting results for a healthful body that we truly desire. Subsequently, we feel like failures. Then we do it again. Over and over. Enough already.

Hey, I have so been there. For weeks before my 10-yr high school reunion, I was sweating it out like no other: double training sessions, calorie restriction, diet pill popping, the works. All in a quick-hit attempt to transform my physical-self and impress a bunch of people, who at the time, I didn't particularly care about. Yet for me (and sadly many of us, we women especially) it was soooooo vitally important what my former classmates thought of my appearance after 10 years. So, did I meet my personal fitness goals in preparing for the event? Nope. That's because I didn't have a fitness goal. I had a weight goal. Yeah, that's right, the pesky number on the scale. I didn't meet that either. I did meet however, hunger, cranky, frustration and stress. Woo-hoo. Fun times. Did I look good? Of course. Especially after shelling out a small fortune on the ensemble, along with full hair & makeup application by my stylist. Did I feel good? No. Did I wow the crowd? Who the heck knows? What I do know, is I wasn't alone. My two best pals who were right there with me going through similar preparation anxieties of their own.

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Crazy.
Crazy who?
Crazy YOU.

Training Client Peep, Sara, was diagnosed with breast cancer last December. She took the disease head-on with an attitude that was inspiring and impressive. She had surgery, radiation treatments and today is healthy. Now cancer-free, Sara was eager to resume an exercise regimen. When we talked, I was startled and disappointed to learn what was motivating Sara to resume her routine. Sara's son is getting married in September. She wants to lose weight and be in shape for the wedding. The wedding. Really? Danger Will Robinson - Sara's got EbF syndrome. Her ego is all over this wedding. Four things of which I am certain with Sara:

• No one attending the wedding will be bit concerned how Sara will look.
• Everyone at the wedding will be grateful she's there - - period.
• Basking in the joy of the day, Sara will glow from within, shine and be beautiful. She is beautiful (and not overweight - grrr).
  
• We clashed on philosophies. We will work together again at another time.

Event-based fitness is superficial, ego driven, and out-of-alignment with living a healthy well-being. EbF is derived out of a lack of self-acceptance and positive self-esteem. In the absence of nourishing ourselves nutritiously, emotionally, and spiritually we push ourselves externally to seek a temporary rush of attention, and acceptance from outside sources. It's purely aesthetic. Blah. Sounds alot like some Hollywood types now doesn't it?

Last week, Chief Peep Boomer and I set our wedding date - October 17th. We're excited. We're ready. It's time. We'll vacation in Hawaii. Yippee-skippy. We can't wait. Then, last Thursday it happened. Twice in 3 days. While sharing the news with my group class, I insinuated that the rise of the workout intensity quotient was due to a dress I have to fit into and the luxurious vacation spot requiring a svelte self. My pain; their gain. In my head anyway. YIKES! I couldn't believe I did it. I jumped into the EbF pool. Fortunately, I quickly emerged to the top and pulled myself out. You see, our pending nuptials are not reason to kick into gear, but serve as inspiration to continue the established personal commitment to my well-being. Especially during what for some can be a stressful time - - event planning.

What differentiates an EbF mentality from a wellness lifestyle mentality? Using myself as the example:

• Do I care how I look? Yes. I care how I look and feel. Inside and out. Not exclusive of special occasions. But everyday.
  
• Do I care how others think I look? Not particularly. That's their opinion and we all have one. In certain situations I may care how my look is perceived, (ie., professional or not, age appropriate or too youth trendy, organized or sloppy) but overall I don't care how others think I look. You get the idea (channeling Stacy & Clinton again).
  
• I do care that no matter how I look, I feel good. Not good. GREAT. Feeling great inside immediately penetrates the exterior. When I'm stressed it shows. When I'm joy-filled, it shows. How I think and act within my fitness and wellness activities invariably affects how I feel. All the time.
  

I live with Boomer. He sees me on my "Hello gorgeous" days. He sees me on my "hit by a truck" days. He loves me always. This also goes for the congregation of friends and family who will gather with us on October 17th. It's precisely why they're there - - to celebrate. Not evaluate how I look.

Off to the gym. Thousands of crunches await (maybe a hundred); I love a having a strong core.

Looking good, Billy Ray! Feeling good, Louis! ~Trading Places

Viva La Flash!

The Peeps were chirping it up big in response to last week's State-of-Mind post. Email, phone calls, in-person sidebar, even carrier pigeons delivered expressive messages. I'm grateful to all of you who made contact expressing your reactions. I'm so glad you felt acceptance, acknowledgment, support, insight, and good humor.

I particularly enjoyed hearing from all the fab men out there - - so cool, you guys rock. The women in your lives are fortunate to have your compassion and encouragement. And in case you didn't catch my Twitter post - - here's a story about another rockin' guy who embraces his woman and his short life as one.

This is all the essence of living a healthy well-being. I'm sharing a few of the great notes that came through in hopes they connect with you too:

"I loved your blog entry. I had the night sweats off and on for several months (starting about 2 years ago), and had the first occurrence during the day time at a party at a friend's home. Her husband came in and hugged me while I was flashing, and commented "Wow! You are really hot!" (and not in the sexy way, of course). I had an internal laugh because for some reason, it did not occur to me that I was truly physically hot on the outside. I thought it was an internal sensation. So ridiculous. Anyway, I am sure you are probably addressing with your doctor, but in case not, one of our mutual friends has been exploring with a doctor she loves how to manage it homeopathically. For me, my doctor put me on birth control and all is well on the hot flash front. And yes, Welcome to the shifts in body. Awesome share, Shannon!" ~ Emily D.

"I can't thank you enough on your recent perspective on perimenopausal body changes! You are right - it's like when you are twelve or when you are pregnant. You need to stay healthy and just go with it. I think I've spent too much time in an alarmist state when I've had to buy a bra in a size I've never contemplated, or had pants that suddenly stopped fitting, or feet that are so hot I thought my shoes would catch fire. It's all part of life's rich pageant....Thanks." ~ Kerry S.

"Well written, and very insightful. While there are no hot flashes, there are changes a foot in this opposite gender reader's body, and like you accepting it is sometimes a bit tough." ~ Jeff M.

"Yep, I love the way you "wordsmithed" that. But, I like the old joke that may mitigate it a bit, not a hot flash, but, a power surge. . . feel the power!!!!" ~ Bob M.

So in honor of our electricity today I say, Vive la Flash!